Famble Ruck

We humans and our love for a pattern.Some people find unexplainable deep joy in being organized.Some go out of their way to defy these laws.Either way,we all follow a set patterns to make life easier.From the way we prepare our triple-spooned zero-cal sugar coffee to the laws that govern our country-there is a certain fixed pattern in which yet again the elements constituting the pattern can be randomized.Take for example,the new year calenders-there are so many ways to represent days.Looking deeper into it-why do we have days?why are days/nights only 24 hours?why the necessity for calenders and years?To avoid confusion ,you might say.Is that all there is to it?Then why those noisy new year end parties?whats so new that we celebrate?I'll leave this as one of the many loose ends in my life...
The need to identify.The joy of recognizing.The feeling that you belong somewhere-that you are meant to be there.No one can be so much in love with their own world to such an extent that they don't let anyone else in to their life.We all are finely tuned to each others needs-and even more clued in to what we want{well ,at least that's the way we choose to see it}
Why are some people so creative?Don't even try proving that we all are 'the children of god' and we all are equally gifted.Balls.Try explaining evolution then.Try explaining miscarriages then.No one is the same-similar maybe,not same.Maybe we are born in a certain sequence.Maybe not.Being a girl,I am supposed to like somethings.I am supposed to like dressing up.I do-but for who is the question.I am supposed to like children .Yet again I do like children,but the fact that I might be shooting one of them out from between my legs gives me the hibbe-jiddes.
The recent gurgaon incident had a student being killed by his two schoolmates.Every one is looking for who to blame.Point fingers-make life easy ,right?Maybe it's all about making life simple.Yep,the wisest thing to do...Now is when humans make me sick.What have we taught our children to do?To face their problems and to overcome them-that's what strong men,do right?Men of the world.Men don't cry.Time to face reality.All our mythical stories that we cram into the young minds have something common.
Ram-Ravana.
David-Goliath.
Kill your enemies.
And that's exactly what they did.I am not trying to defend their cause.I am just making an observation.I like making observations.Introspection might be a good word to bring in now.They are my proud creators of conflict.There is a fine line of difference between introspecting and observing.Their difference can be compared to the difference between happiness and joy.It's something that can't be explained -it's an experience.I could try.But that's not what i want.Find out for yourself ,what these words mean to you.Coming back to introspection-i wonder what the purpose of this mind sucking exercise?The older we grow ,the more we are supposed to [check this phrase out.Often overly abused and flung at by older wise men]-act mature.We need not 'be mature' but surely we can act.Funny observation yet again-have you seen a 10 year old mary-jane addict?no.The older we grow -the more prone we are to succumb to patterns like doping ,smoking and the jazz.So is smoking and using drugs bad?-i ask myself.I don't have an answer to this.I can't find a particular logic behind this question of mine.I don't want to.Maybe because of my socio-environmental conditions.Maybe because of my conservative up-bringing.Maybe because though I want to explore new dimensions i can't-due to lack of money.My mom believes all of this is bad.Duhh,mom after all.But what are we humans doing to each other?Aren't we being each others ultimate nightmares.Humans are harmful and useful for humans.Strange sort of symbiosis.Think about it-it's because of this phenomena that brings out the best in us.The world would be a nicer place with only the people you adore.Bite your bum if you confirm to the above statement.Why do we have a bath?Not always because we want to-because we have to.No one really want to consciously stink right?Coming back to the people you love-aren't they the first to receive all the frustration brewing up in you?The more i think of people and their intense influence on each other and thier environment ,the more random and mismatched my writing might seem to get.I want the person reading this rambling to see the beauty underlined through the writing.I want them to see what i see:the connections,the chaotic pattern.If i had the power to change -at least spellings{which i do, considering my spelling mistakes.All hail spell-check!},the word chaos would be 'chao[us] '.
I am not writing or justifying myself to anyone except maybe to myself cause somewhere down the lane it does make sense in my mind.There are times i wish i could show the man of my dreams{who thankful doesn't only exist in my virtual mind} what all goes on in my head.Momentarily impossible ,but when we are next to each other i do want him to see.Want him to understand.Want him to appreciate-though i don't have a mind as inquisitive and exclusive as his,I am different.I am unique.And that's where my beauty lies.Yet another loose end...